Damon Givehand
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The Re-Emergence of REAL MEN

11/16/2015

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WARNING: MANY OF THE FOLLOWING CONTENTS MAY BE HARD FOR "SOME" MEN TO SWALLOW

REAL MEN are in short supply these days (but if you're reading this post you're probably one of the few remaining REAL MEN).  Why is this a problem?

Because REAL MEN tend to RAISE BOYS TO BE REAL MEN, and when a real man is not there to raise the boy, that boy’s chances of growing up to be a REAL MAN are drastically reduced.

The short supply of real men over the years, because of the law of diminishing returns, has led to a sharp decline of real men, placing REAL MEN on the brink of EXTINCTION.  We cannot let the real man die!  So, I asked this before in a previous post, but WILL THE REAL MEN PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STAND UP!!?

Just a few effects that make this short supply of real men glaringly obvious are…
  • Male legal troubles and incarceration rates
  • Debt and financial struggles
  • The number of absent fathers and dead-beat dads (or single moms raising kids)
  • The frequency of physical and mental diseases, and other health issues men have
  • The number of men out-of-shape and overweight (don't worry guys, you can fix this fast :-))
  • Divorce rates and unhealthy relationships
  • I’m sure you can add at least a few more to the list that are obvious to you. Please share in the comments.
Real men are not conquerors of other men; REAL MEN ARE CONQUERORS OF THEMSELVES. 

Real men don’t blame the system or other outside forces for their problems; REAL MEN ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY and "man up."

Real men don’t wish things were easier; REAL MEN wish they were better and then set out to make themselves better!

Real men don't live "for" the moment; REAL MEN live "in" the moment and take good care of today for the sake of a prosperous tomorrow;

Real men don't compete; REAL MEN create.

Real men don’t ignore the truth because it’s convenient and comfortable; REAL MEN meet truth head on even when it hurts at first.

A REAL MAN recognizes that…
  • his thoughts determine his reality;
  • his thoughts are the direct cause of his condition and circumstances (success, failure, illness or health);
  • he has ultimate control over his thoughts and it is up to him to take control of his thoughts (if he doesn’t, he will be controlled by his thoughts);
  • his LIFE is his business, and he handles his business;
  • his physical health is vitally important and he puts this at the top of his priority list;
  • his physical body is literally a temple and that he must treat it as so;
  • the better he is in every way, the better all around him will be;
  • love and forgiveness are just two of his super powers that he must cultivate and strengthen;
  • he must change himself, not the world;
  • the ancient advice “know thyself” reveals the key to true education and freedom, and he strives to hold the key;
  • he must love his woman right, so the next generation will have a map for healthy love;
  • actions are like boomerangs, for better or worse, and that he must do his best to receive the best.
10 Priorities of REAL MEN
  • Seeing clearly
  • Abiding by his conscience
  • Love (self, others, all)
  • Physical health & vitality
  • Personal growth, self-development & improvement
  • Creativity
  • Wealth building
  • Contribution
  • Lifestyle
  • Happiness
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REAL MEN or Road to Nowhere?

11/12/2015

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Will the REAL MEN PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stand up?

(Don’t wait until 2016 to be better…)
Divorce rates, single parent households, and broken homes are at an all-time high; and that's some clue about the state of relationships these days which undoubtedly has its impact on the modern family (whether dysfunctional, dismantled, disappeared, or defunct). If children are being raised in families that lack love and balance and healthy examples, then it should be no shock if they go on to live similar kinds of lives.  The paradigm, or should I say baggage, we inherit from the ones that raise us is no joke. At some point we have to decide, enough!  I know that all of us may not be brave enough or even mentally ready to make the shift all at once, but for the individuals that do have the courage to go right when the rest of the world seems to be going left, I’m asking you to do it for the future of our world.

Remember, the world can only be as good as the people in it, so let’s be the examples we wish the world had more of.  By doing the work to improve ourselves as individuals we show the youth how incredible and beautiful we CAN be and life can be.  Without OUR REAL examples, we are just crossing our fingers and hoping things get better.  THAT’S A SORRY STRATEGY!  As I write this, I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes…
"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  - Howard Thurman
It is not our job to go and fix the youth, like we so often attempt, especially when we haven’t managed to notice the need for our own repair. Our first responsibility as REAL MEN is to fix ourselves. Thurman’s quote shows us the cure, which is to come alive.  Self-improvement is all about coming alive.  Self-improvement leads to self-love, the most important relationship of them all, and anyone who truly loves himself lives to be alive! That’s what young people need to witness first-hand, then they’ll know. Self-improvement is what REAL MEN do.

Since I'm a man, I'm putting the onus on men. Men aren't to blame, necessarily, but we men have to recognize our part in this mess and own up to and take responsibility for our part. Let’s learn to love ourselves the right way first, so that when we love our women we love them right. If we don't then we will just be allowing more children to be born into situations and homes with weak examples and with less than optimum love and they will be, by their inheritance, more than likely set to repeat and perpetuate the same because that will be what they know.

Somebody has to be wise enough, courageous enough, and strong enough to step up to break the cycle – Why not you? Why not us?  I'm asking you to be a cycle breaker with me.  The world needs us!

Visit me at www.damongivehand.com where I focus on self-improvement through SUCCESS in 3 key areas of life: Health, Wealth, & Purpose.  As we master these three areas, we find more happiness.  I call these three key areas the happiness trifecta.  If we master these in our own lives, then we can pass that on to our youth, who are the future. 

​Join me!
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The Purpose of Life

2/8/2015

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The purpose of life is the same for every human being on the planet.  There is no longer any need to wander aimlessly through life wondering what your purpose is and trying desperately to figure it out.  My purpose in life and your purpose in life are the same.  So, what is our purpose you ask…?  Our purpose is to grow.  That’s right!  What is the purpose of life?  The purpose of life is growth!  Now that you know… go grow!

If you're ready to go grow now, see the 5 things you can do to accelerate your growth at the bottom of this post.

I have a confession to make – I didn’t always know what my purpose in life was or what the purpose of life is. I was quite the knuckle head as a kid, and I was a kid for longer than I’m proud to say.  But as I started to pay attention to my life and the lives of others, and I began to study the causes and effects of my circumstances and observe the causes of the conditions of others, I gradually began to wake up to a truth that’s obvious to me now but wasn’t always obvious – that I am the ultimate cause of my conditions and circumstances, and everyone else is likewise the cause of their predicaments.  We are ultimately responsible for our own misery, our own poverty, our own disease, our own dysfunction, our own weight problems, our own relationship issues, our own attitudes, our own moods, every aspect of our lives that has seemed to go terribly wrong... we are responsible for.  The GOOD NEWS is that we are also responsible for the good and right things in our lives, and we can begin to intentionally begin to change bad to good at any point in life on purpose (whether we are 18 or 80), no matter how messed up things may seem to be right now.  Ok, let’s get back to the purpose of life!

What does saying “the purpose of life is to grow” really mean though?  What does human growth look like?  It can look like this:  you make better choices as you age; you have more self-control as you get older; you communicate better; you become more self-confident, self-assured, and comfortable with who you are no matter how weird and different; you listen better; you seek more to understand than you do to be understood; you develop an enthusiasm and drive to become your flat out best at EVERYTHING you do; you put yourself in new and unfamiliar situations so that you may learn new and unfamiliar things to expand your consciousness and awareness; you develop an insatiable thirst to learn, travel, and experience all your heart and soul desire; your figure out how to increase your resources and how to utilize the time you have more effectively and efficiently; you learn to accept and appreciate your circumstances graciously as lessons to be learned and stepping stones toward a higher station in life; you learn to FORGIVE and to embrace LOVE and recognize these as your strengths; etc… I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  For humans, growth means expanding your virtue and becoming more graceful at navigating the terrain of life as you get older.

Here’s an interesting fact:  Human beings are the only life form on the planet that can choose NOT to grow as much as possible and indeed can choose not to grow at all.  Every other life form on the planet seeks to flourish and thrive.  Every other life form wants to grow as much as possible.  Every other life form seeks abundance.  Humans are the only species that wishes for abundance instead of actively seeking abundance out and doing what must be done to live abundantly.  Can you imagine a tree deciding one day it is only going to grow half way that day?  When you think of a weed in the garden, doesn’t it want to take over the garden?  You see, life’s natural inclination is to grow and keep growing until it is as large and far-reaching as it can be.  When life seizes to grow, life is over, finished, done, kaput, that’s it!

Something else to keep in mind:  If you raise a Grouper fish in a 30 gallon fish tank, it will not grow to its fullest capacity.  The 30 gallon fish tank restricts the growth of the Grouper, no matter what you feed it, because of the dimensions of the tank (or the size of the environment inside the tank), and this prevents it from being able to “live large” like it was meant to.  If you happen to be in an environment too small for your growth capacity, make the conscious choice to move yourself to another environment that is large enough to accommodate your earnest potential.  If you are in a situation or environment that holds you back, you MUST make the conscious choice to put yourself in an environment that allows you to grow as much as you can – and this change for you begins with a mind-shift.

As humans, we have to recognize our unique gift of choice.  We must use this gift to consciously choose to fully live our purpose, which is to grow as much as we can. We must strive to grow maximally; and to grow maximally is to thrive.  We are meant to thrive!  To THRIVE is our TRUE PURPOSE in this lifetime!
​

To echo the last two words of the first paragraph… GO GROW!​

Here are 5 things you can start this week to accelerate your growth:
  1. Join a Toastmasters and attend your first meeting.
  2. Take a yoga class. Take at least 3 classes in a week for at least two consecutive weeks.  If you’re tight on money, ask the studio rep or instructor for a break and tell them Damon sent you for a personal growth challenge — bring them to my website and show them this blog post as proof.  They might say “no” but they might say “come on in and grab a mat!” …you just never know until you give it a shot.  Doing this is even a personal growth opportunity.
  3. Do a 1 day juice fast once per week for the next four weeks.
  4. Take dance lessons -- jazz, African, salsa, etc...
  5. Forgive someone you've been upset with for a while. Call that person or meet with that person.  Don't argue or be set on having the last word; just listen even if you don't agree.  End the conversation with I love you and I forgive you...
Be sure to come back and let me know what you did and how it went.  I’ll be on the lookout!

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I'm Back...

1/22/2014

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PicturePhoto used under
Creative Commons from quinn.anya
Ok, I took a little bit of a hiatus over the last 6 months.  The duties of my full-time "employment" distracted me from staying connected to my blog.  That's my fault for allowing it to get in the way!  For that, I sincerely apologize.  The reason I even decided to blog and blog about the subject matter I blog about is because I am sick of standing by, watching, and doing nothing while people are needlessly suffering all around me.  I know I have some valuable experience, insight, and knowledge to share with people, and not taking the initiative to share my experience with others is wrong as far as I see it!  I care about people and the world too much to sit idly by in silence.  Now, whether people find their way to my blog, and whether people seriously consider what I have to offer depends on other forces and factors out of my control.  All I can do is put it out there, so this is me taking the initiative and doing my part.  I love y'all!

The world can only be as good as the people in it. My way of pumping life into the world is by being and becoming my best and healthiest self, and sharing what I learn with others so they can too.  If we all begin to share our stories with one another, we will begin to see that we are not alone in what we are going through, and we will be able to identify the essential common denominators to our problems and the solutions to those problems.  On the other hand, by not talking with each other and sharing our experiences, we will continue to feel isolated and alone and think our problems are unique to us and no one else is going through what we are going through.  Nothing is further from the truth.  We are all struggling to wake up from the same human condition -- only the "details" of our respective lives are different.

My blog is my effort to help as many people as I can possibly help.  By improving myself, the world is one person better.  If I am able to help myself and one other, the world is two people better.  If I am able to help 100 people, a 1000 people, or 10,000 people, then the world is that many more people better.  My mission is to promote and facilitate world improvement to the extent of my capacity, and it starts with me.  To me, that’s the only life worth living.  This venue (the internet) makes it possible to share my experience and reach more people than has ever been possible before, and I intend to work with the tools available to the best of my ability to connect with the largest audience possible, world-wide.  

If you have found your way here, please share my site with others you think might benefit, or might appreciate the language I use and the perspective I hold.  We don't have to suffer in this lifetime.  We don't have to get sick.  We don't have to be broke.  All that is necessary to not suffer, not get sick, and to not be broke is the proper knowledge and choices combined with commensurate action, reflection, and continual calibration.

Remember, there was a time when these people believed the world was flat.  There was a time when these people thought Earth was the center of the Universe.  The popular beliefs of today have peoples' minds enthralled in thoughts of disease, war, and mindlessness.  So, be careful when you decide to believe in what the masses believe in.  Be careful when you accept to believe in disease, poverty, and suffering the way the current zeitgeist would have you believe.  Ask yourself, do your beliefs give you power over your life, or do your beliefs render you powerless to the circumstances of your life? The choice is ours about the kind of life we live.

I look to connect with people who are interested in tapping into their true power so they can live the best quality life possible.  We all have it.  We just need to learn how to access it.  Let’s join forces.  Let’s share our insights and experiences.

If you are ready, and you'll join me, we can make what needs to happen happen.

Ready, set , go!  Let's do this...

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  • Home
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    • 4-Week Samādhi Pāda Master Class
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  • My Books
    • YOGA, Truth, & The Real Fountain of Youth
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    • A Good Start to Eating Right for OPTIMUM HEALTH
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    • Praise to Patañjali
    • Gāyatrī Mantraḥ