Living A Life of Congruence
Happiness is when our actions match our deepest desires, this is one way you can think of congruence or to know if you are living congruently or not. For instance, if your major desire in life is to surf, and you can regularly be found in the water with your board waiting for that next great wave AND THAT brings you joy, then you are living congruently (in that instance).
If, on the other hand, you love to surf, but feel like you can never afford to go surfing or can never get time off to go surfing and consequently never go surfing, that’s in-congruent and is a sure way to pain, frustration, and misery. Sometimes, though, it’s necessary to experience the kind of discomfort that comes from living in-congruently so that we’re jolted into action.
What’s sad though, is when a person adopts a helpless mindset (learned helplessness) and accepts that he or she will never get to do what he or she loves to do. That is how to be unhappy, and is, believe it or not, a choice! If a person loves to do yoga or loves to do art, but never finds the time, it’s not because the time doesn’t exist, there are exactly 24 hours in EVERY day that we all have access to, it’s simply because they haven’t “taken” the time. Instead they’ve conjured up reasons why other less fulfilling things are more important to do than the things they love to do.
KNOW what you love to do, and then MAKE time for doing it. PLAN it into your busy schedule. Yes, we often need to find creative ways to afford doing what we love, but it’s necessary for our happiness, so we can enjoy life!
Having a goal or desire THAT no matter what you say or do, your words and actions exemplify, articulate and support your position is another way to think of congruence. Like when you’re running a value added event and everything you say reinforces your point or promotes the message you’re there to share without giving it a second thought. So congruence has to do with fully associating yourself with your beliefs and your desires. This is why it’s so important to take a thorough and conscious inventory of your beliefs and desires to make sure they are consistent with who you want to be so that you don’t unconsciously or subconsciously sabotage or undermine your mission by doing or saying things that contradict what you intend to stand for and how you hope to show up in the world.
In closing, we like to describe happiness as the feeling you get when your actions match your deepest desires. Another way to think of it is as PROGRESS… we are happiest when we feel and can observe the progress we’re making. When our actions match our desires, it’s inevitable that we will be moving (or should I say “making progress”) toward a life that knows lots of joy, and that’s something to celebrate.
So, let’s all go be congruent!
5 SIMPLE IDEAS THAT COULD REVOLUTIONIZE YOUR LIFE…
WARNING: What I’m about to share with you might be so different from what you’ve been taught and led to believe your entire life, that it might be too unsettling to digest at first.
The orthodox health community and those who profit off poor health by the billions might even consider what I’m about to share with you as heresy. That’s OK though, remember there was a time when masses of certain folks thought the Sun orbited around Earth instead of the other way around. Just because seemingly everyone believes in something doesn’t make that belief accurate or even correct.
Before I share with you how to NOT get sick EVER (the 5 points at the bottom of this article), let me first share some bad news, the simple truth about health, and then some really good news with you. First the bad news…
BAD NEWS: With all the “so-called” advances in health care, people (especially in the U.S. where I’ve lived my entire life) are sicker now days than ever. Obesity rates are steadily climbing, and this is even true in younger and younger children, and there are more diseases being coined and diagnosed every day.
Right here I have to state the obvious problem – the big “A” elephant in the room of our society. There is a HUGE CONFLICT OF INTEREST that is warping peoples’ beliefs about health. The obvious conflict of interest is that there is lots and lots and lots of money to be made from poor health. There is a whole industry that profits from poor health – think about how much money is made from health insurance, cancer research, experimental drugs, and over the counter pharmaceuticals just to call out a few. When you put them together with food manufacturers and the host of chemical companies that create chemical ingredients and processes to make food more affordable that tastes good, how much money do you think that represents? With all that money, do you think they could have any influence over how information about health is presented to the people? Do you think that, with all that money, they would ever voluntarily release research findings that would make the public not trust their product or service and not spend money on their brand? If anything, the companies have no interest in telling the whole truth about their research if they happen to find that their product or service causes the public harm, for that would hurt their potential for profits. To the contrary, the incentive is for companies to release marketing campaigns that bolster public trust and confidence in such a way that people feel comfortable and even compelled to spend money with the brand. Hmmm…
Keep in mind that big businesses are in business for ONE THING – to make maximum profits for shareholders, PERIOD. But you say, “Don’t we have governmental agencies that protect us by making sure those big companies conduct business in a way that does not cause harm to the people?” To which I would ask, “Have you ever seen the revolving door of CEO’s and higher-ups who go back and forth between working with these so-called watch dog governmental agencies, lobbying groups, and health care, pharmacy, and food companies?” There’s your obvious conflict of interest. The people who work in these positions are individuals just like you, who are trying to make a comfortable living. Large salaries make material comfort easy to come by. Can’t knock ‘em for that.
ANOTHER MAJOR PROBLEM is that most people assume that someone is watching to make sure corporations, businesses, and agencies are operating on the up and up. Well, if everybody assumes someone else is watching, then who’s actually watching?
Let me clear the air now, and state for the record, that it’s NOT the fault of processed food manufacturers, big pharma, health insurers, and the like, that we’ve become such a physically ill society. These entities are NOT TO BLAME for the obesity rates and poor health of individuals. These businesses are just doing what businesses are designed to do. Businesses are in business to make money! They have no commitment or obligation to the health of the people.
THE FAULT LIES WITH THE INDIVIDUAL. It is the responsibility of the individual to do his or her own thinking and to take control of his or her own actions. In the case of children, it is the responsibility of the parent or guardian to protect the child. Don’t blame the doughnut industry or your family doctor if YOU buy into the slogan that “a doughnut a day keeps the doctor away.” You have to be more intelligent than that, and the same is true for any food you choose to eat. Think!
Ok, so before I share with you the simple truth for how NOT to get sick, let me share the simple truth about health and some good news with you…
MY HOPE is that the light in you will resonate with the light in this simple truth about health, and that, for your own sake and your progeny, you will begin to unravel the great health mystery yourself. My hope is that you start conducting yourself in accord with a health paradigm so that you are healthy and so you can pass on healthy habits and thought patterns to your children (or grandchildren) if you have any.
SIMPLE TRUTH: Our default, natural, physical state is a state of HEALTH and EASE.
HEALTH and EASE are only lost when there is sufficient interference. Interference is anything that pollutes/contaminates your blood, anything that impedes digestion and causes your bowels to become obstructed, or anything that disturbs your thought patterns. I’ll leave it to you to research each of these areas of interference.
GOOD NEWS: HEALTH and EASE can be restored if lost (this process is not easy due to an individual’s habituated thought patterns and actions, yet the process is simple). For any disease or condition of poor health that you’ve developed, you can “un-develop.” There is no such thing as an incurable disease. For every so-called incurable disease out there, you can find cases of individuals who have somehow overcome that disease and made a full recovery(conventional health care professionals are trained to call these recoveries “miraculous”). If the disease was incurable, then there would be no such cases of individuals who made full recoveries. If one human can recover, then the power to recover is in all humans, as we are all made of the same stuff. The question is “What is this power that all human beings have?” I’ve eluded to it several times already, and will at least once more by the end of this article, but prefer that you see it for yourself rather than give a name to it.
Ok, drum roll…..
Here are the 5 points you need to know and DO to NOT get sick ever again:
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The 12 GOLDEN GOALS to Go from Drifting in Life to SAILING
It’s easy to drift through life if we're not careful. Most people are drifting through life and don't even know it. How do I know? Because I was one of those people, and like they say "it takes one to know one." It took me a long time to figure this out, but I learned that if I want to have an amazing life then there are certain goals I MUST have. I call these my GOLDEN GOALS.
In our school education we talk about the importance of goals and goal setting, but usually, if not always, in the context of academic achievement and professional goals. Those goals are fine enough in their respective arenas, but they miss the mark when it comes to living a HEALTHY, PROSPEROUS, and MEANINGFUL life.
If we don't have a definite life destination in mind that we are trying to reach (and by “definite life destination” I mean our personal versions of a most amazing life) then we are like driftwood floating without direction on the ocean’s surface, being tossed and blown in every which way by the fickle winds.
Think about it, WHERE are you going if you don't know where you’re going?
If, on the other hand, we know the coordinates of the island we are trying to get to (call this destination most amazing life) and we know from where we are starting, we become like a sail boat with a map and compass (rather than the driftwood). No longer are we at the mercy of the relentless and ever-changing winds, aimlessly adrift at sea getting tossed and blown every which way. Now we can set our sail and use the winds to our aid and to our advantage. I've found that the best destination is the one we envision for ourselves where we are happy and have come truly alive.
Goals are like destinations, and below are the GOLDEN GOALS I’ll be focusing on in 2016 as part of my personal growth plan and happiness map.
Just in case you'd like to join me, I want to make sure you have the opportunity to get these in your hands and on your mind before 2016 gets here so you can start the year with your game plan instead of starting the year creating your game plan. If you truly want to win and have your best year yet, preparation is the key, and planning is a major part of preparing!
The game is won before the game, not during the game.
If 2016 is a game, then let’s play to win, and not just play around. To win, let’s prepare as much as possible so we can start the game as ready as possible!
If you have questions or need help in any of these areas, let me know in the comment section below. We’re in this together!
(I have your back!)
The 12 GOLDEN GOALS (CLICK HERE to sign up for the FREE year-long Golden Goals program 2016)
See you in 2016!
WARNING: MANY OF THE FOLLOWING CONTENTS MAY BE HARD FOR "SOME" MEN TO SWALLOW
REAL MEN are in short supply these days (but if you're reading this post you're probably one of the few remaining REAL MEN). Why is this a problem?
Because REAL MEN tend to RAISE BOYS TO BE REAL MEN, and when a real man is not there to raise the boy, that boy’s chances of growing up to be a REAL MAN are drastically reduced.
The short supply of real men over the years, because of the law of diminishing returns, has led to a sharp decline of real men, placing REAL MEN on the brink of EXTINCTION. We cannot let the real man die! So, I asked this before in a previous post, but WILL THE REAL MEN PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STAND UP!!?
Just a few effects that make this short supply of real men glaringly obvious are…
Real men don’t blame the system or other outside forces for their problems; REAL MEN ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY and "man up."
Real men don’t wish things were easier; REAL MEN wish they were better and then set out to make themselves better!
Real men don't live "for" the moment; REAL MEN live "in" the moment and take good care of today for the sake of a prosperous tomorrow;
Real men don't compete; REAL MEN create.
Real men don’t ignore the truth because it’s convenient and comfortable; REAL MEN meet truth head on even when it hurts at first.
A REAL MAN recognizes that…
Will the REAL MEN PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stand up?
(Don’t wait until 2016 to be better…)
Divorce rates, single parent households, and broken homes are at an all-time high; and that's some clue about the state of relationships these days which undoubtedly has its impact on the modern family (whether dysfunctional, dismantled, disappeared, or defunct). If children are being raised in families that lack love and balance and healthy examples, then it should be no shock if they go on to live similar kinds of lives. The paradigm, or should I say baggage, we inherit from the ones that raise us is no joke. At some point we have to decide, enough! I know that all of us may not be brave enough or even mentally ready to make the shift all at once, but for the individuals that do have the courage to go right when the rest of the world seems to be going left, I’m asking you to do it for the future of our world.
Remember, the world can only be as good as the people in it, so let’s be the examples we wish the world had more of. By doing the work to improve ourselves as individuals we show the youth how incredible and beautiful we CAN be and life can be. Without OUR REAL examples, we are just crossing our fingers and hoping things get better. THAT’S A SORRY STRATEGY! As I write this, I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes…
"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman
It is not our job to go and fix the youth, like we so often attempt, especially when we haven’t managed to notice the need for our own repair. Our first responsibility as REAL MEN is to fix ourselves. Thurman’s quote shows us the cure, which is to come alive. Self-improvement is all about coming alive. Self-improvement leads to self-love, the most important relationship of them all, and anyone who truly loves himself lives to be alive! That’s what young people need to witness first-hand, then they’ll know. Self-improvement is what REAL MEN do.
Since I'm a man, I'm putting the onus on men. Men aren't to blame, necessarily, but we men have to recognize our part in this mess and own up to and take responsibility for our part. Let’s learn to love ourselves the right way first, so that when we love our women we love them right. If we don't then we will just be allowing more children to be born into situations and homes with weak examples and with less than optimum love and they will be, by their inheritance, more than likely set to repeat and perpetuate the same because that will be what they know.
Somebody has to be wise enough, courageous enough, and strong enough to step up to break the cycle – Why not you? Why not us? I'm asking you to be a cycle breaker with me. The world needs us!
Visit me at www.damongivehand.com where I focus on self-improvement through SUCCESS in 3 key areas of life: Health, Wealth, & Purpose. As we master these three areas, we find more happiness. I call these three key areas the happiness trifecta. If we master these in our own lives, then we can pass that on to our youth, who are the future.
RED PILL OR BLUE PILL?
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