Living A Life of Congruence
Happiness is when our actions match our deepest desires, this is one way you can think of congruence or to know if you are living congruently or not. For instance, if your major desire in life is to surf, and you can regularly be found in the water with your board waiting for that next great wave AND THAT brings you joy, then you are living congruently (in that instance).
If, on the other hand, you love to surf, but feel like you can never afford to go surfing or can never get time off to go surfing and consequently never go surfing, that’s in-congruent and is a sure way to pain, frustration, and misery. Sometimes, though, it’s necessary to experience the kind of discomfort that comes from living in-congruently so that we’re jolted into action.
What’s sad though, is when a person adopts a helpless mindset (learned helplessness) and accepts that he or she will never get to do what he or she loves to do. That is how to be unhappy, and is, believe it or not, a choice! If a person loves to do yoga or loves to do art, but never finds the time, it’s not because the time doesn’t exist, there are exactly 24 hours in EVERY day that we all have access to, it’s simply because they haven’t “taken” the time. Instead they’ve conjured up reasons why other less fulfilling things are more important to do than the things they love to do.
KNOW what you love to do, and then MAKE time for doing it. PLAN it into your busy schedule. Yes, we often need to find creative ways to afford doing what we love, but it’s necessary for our happiness, so we can enjoy life!
Having a goal or desire THAT no matter what you say or do, your words and actions exemplify, articulate and support your position is another way to think of congruence. Like when you’re running a value added event and everything you say reinforces your point or promotes the message you’re there to share without giving it a second thought. So congruence has to do with fully associating yourself with your beliefs and your desires. This is why it’s so important to take a thorough and conscious inventory of your beliefs and desires to make sure they are consistent with who you want to be so that you don’t unconsciously or subconsciously sabotage or undermine your mission by doing or saying things that contradict what you intend to stand for and how you hope to show up in the world.
In closing, we like to describe happiness as the feeling you get when your actions match your deepest desires. Another way to think of it is as PROGRESS… we are happiest when we feel and can observe the progress we’re making. When our actions match our desires, it’s inevitable that we will be moving (or should I say “making progress”) toward a life that knows lots of joy, and that’s something to celebrate.
So, let’s all go be congruent!
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